REMINDERS:

Belmont Stakes - Sat, Jun. 11 - 3 days

Flag Day - Tue, Jun 14 - 6 days

Father's Day - Sun, Jun 19 - 11 days

Summer Solstice - Tue, Jun 21 - 13 days

Independence Day - Mon, Jul 04 - 26 days
**********************

JOKES:
.......
Lady: Well, doctor, I guess I've reached that awkward age.

Doctor: What do you mean?

Lady: Too young for Medicare, and too old for men to care!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Caller: Congratulations, sir! You've just won a series of dancing lessons at Arthur Murray's Studio.

Grandpa: I'm much too old for dancing lessons.
Why I'm 90 years old!

Caller: Oh, no, we have many senior citizens here.

Grandpa: Well, in that case hold the line and I'll ask my father if he's interested.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Why is it always the chap in the fourth car in line who is the first to see the light change?
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
After one of the machines at work suddenly went on the fritz, our boss called the repair service and asked to speak to the manager, Ahmed.

"Hello, Ed speaking. How can I help you?" said the guy who answered the phone.

"Sorry," said my boss. "I was looking for Ahmed."

"This is Ahmed," came the reply. "How can I help you?"

"I thought you just said your name was Ed?"
asked my boss.

"It is. But whenever I say 'Ahmed,' people think I'm saying, 'I'm Ed.' So I figured it's just easier to be Ed."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Shirl: That was nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex- boyfriend.

Pearl: I know, but I don’t hold any grudges.

Shirl: I’m surprised he trusted you enough to agree to go out with her.

Pearl: Well, I had to swear to him she’s Jennifer Lopez’s double.

Shirl: Wow! Is that true?

Pearl: I wouldn’t lie. She’s twice her weight and twice her age.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
When a woman I know turned 99 years old, I went to her birthday party and took some photos. A few days later, I took the whole batch of prints to her so she could choose her favorite.

"Good Lord!" she said as she was flipping through them. "I look as if I'm a hundred!"
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
A Child's Interpretation of the Ten Commandments My nephew, who has just started the first grade, was asked to memorize the Ten Commandments. Upon reciting the commandment, "Thou shalt not commit adultery," he was asked what this commandment meant.

With absolute seriousness he replied, "That means that you shouldn't want to become an adult."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
After a lady's car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large bag of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the convenience store to get another bag to finish the job.

The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, "Lady, if that were my cat, I'd put him outside!"
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Defense lawyers say they might have Michael Jackson testify. They don't really want him to, but doctors believe it's the only way they can get his nose to grow back.

-- Roseanne Barr
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today," she said.

"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.

"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
I remember watching "You Bet Your Life". The female guest was from Buffalo. She was asked about her family. She said she had 14 (it might have been 17) children. He asked her what her husband did for a living. She said he operated an automated screwing machine.

Groucho just turned and looked at the camera, remaining silent. She had said enough.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
I'd been hired to paint a woman's living room, but every time I put another coat of paint on the walls, my client changed her mind about the color. After the third time, it still wasn't right. So back to the paint store I went. As I painted the fourth coat on, she commented, "It looks like you're painting faster."

"No," I mumbled, "the room's getting smaller."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Mrs Green: My children are driving me crazy.


Mrs White: Yes. But children are a great comfort in old age.

Mrs Green: True. The problem is they help you reach it faster than you want to!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
A minister, after listening to an impromptu campaign speech on main street, "Before I vote for you for sheriff, I'd like to know if you partake of intoxicating beverages?"

Candidate for sheriff, "Before I answer, tell me if this is an inquiry or an invitation."
**********************************
That's the jokes for today.
Have a GOOD one!
Chuck ..... and the Computer
 

C. S. ROLLASON WHOLESALERS

Like to make money from your kitchen table?
Check out our helpful sites below.... we also supply
help for established home operated businesses...

http://www.homebucks.com
http://www.future-world.com/10246.htm

The Best-Kept Secrets Revealed!
http://hop.clickbank.net/hop.cgi?crollason/aboutcom

Need Labels??? Check out my label site at:
http://chuck.clickprint.com

95 %, The highest Network Payout in the history of MLM. $95 out of $100!
$50.00 fast start bonus on every sale you make, including the first one!
Check: it out at:
http://www.goupp.com/power95/ch795

"How To Create Automatic Money Machines On The Internet" - Full 7 Letter Series - Free!
Visit Our Site To Sign Up Now:

http://www.thewarriorgroup.com/cgi-bin/a.pl?warriors&4053

Check out my Daily Journal (here’s what I’m doing.)
http://www.homebucks.com/chucks/daily.html