REMINDERS:

Winter Solstice - Tue, Dec 20 - 14 days

Christmas Eve - Fri, Dec 24 - 17 days

Christmas Day - Sat, Dec 25 - 18 days

Boxing Day - Sun, Dec 26 - 19 days

New Year's Eve - Fri, 31 - 24 days
**********************

JOKES:
.......
During a church social activity, I had to say a few words about myself. I mentioned that I was born in Philadelphia, that the first Scattergood had immigrated in the early 1700's and that I was a tenth-generation American. "I doubt anybody in this room can beat that," I boasted.

"I can!" came a voice from the back. Everyone turned around. It was my daughter.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Joy took her daughter Allison to the doctor for her 2-year-old check-up. They had her do coordination tests, such as stacking blocks, and they watched her to see if she was walking properly.

Finally the doctor said, "Allison, can you stand on one foot for me?" She promptly walked over and stood on his foot.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
I’ve reached an age when I tend to repeat favorite family stories, unaware that I’ve told them before. Once, I was fondly recalling an incident when it occurred to me that this might be one of those times. "You know your father’s getting old," I apologized, "when he repeats a story he’s told you before."

Gallantly, my son replied, "You know your son’s getting old, Dad, when he doesn’t remember that he’s already heard it."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Visiting the zoo one day, a lady noticed one of the kangaroos had a huge set of balls. She couldn't believe the size of these hummers, and when the 'roo ventured close to the bars of the enclosure, she reached thru the bars and gave his 'nads a squeeze.

The animal, startled, jumped clear over the fence and bounded away down the path.

A keeper saw the critter fading out of sight, and running up to the woman, said "What did you do to that kangaroo?"

"I just gave his nuts a tweak to see if they were real!" she wailed.

"Well," said the keeper, dropping his pants, "you'd better tweak mine, 'cause I have to catch that sucker"!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
A friend and I were a few minutes late for the movies, so after we found our seats Dave went to get us some snacks. It was completely dark in the theater when Dave returned and he had some difficulty finding our row. He finally sat down and whispered, "Did I miss anything?"

"Yes," a male voice answered. "Your row!"
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
An old couple was just settling in to bed one night when the phone rang. The husband got out of bed and went into the living room to answer the phone. His wife could hear him say, "Hello?" Then he said, "Sure is." He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.

A minute later the phone rang again. The husband got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say, "Hello?"
and then he said, "Sure is." He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.

The wife asked who it was.

The man said he didn't know.

A minute later the phone rang again. The husband got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say, "Hello?"
Then he said, "Sure is." He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.

The wife asked again about the caller.

The man said he didn't know who it was.

The wife then asked, "Well, what did the person say?"

He said, "It's odd, a woman just keeps saying, 'Long distance from Chicago..'"
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
To clean out their central vacuum canister, my father decided to use the shop vacuum. He completed the job, but unfortunately, the shop vacuum tipped over, spilling months worth of dust and dirt all over the floor. My father started to clean it up, but my brother dropped in and offered to do it.

Dad returned later to find my brother had done a great job cleaning up -- using the central vacuum system.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
A young boy is watching TV and sees an ad about "Male Enhancement".

He says: "Dad, what is Male Enhancement?

Dad pauses and replies, "That's when you add stamps to a letter."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Q: What do you call someone in the White House who is honest, ethical, intellectual, law abiding, and truthful?

A: A tourist.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
My husband always lets me know when he's not getting enough. The other night when my boys were being particularly rambunctious, and groping each other, I yelled at them "In this house, we don't touch each other's privates."

To which my husband replied, "No kidding."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
A man's ex-wife called him at work wanting to know how to change the light bulb in the bathroom.

So he told her: "First, fill the bathtub with water..."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"My wife is the most suspicious woman in the world," complained Morris, the harried husband to a sympathetic friend.

Last year she found a blond hair on my jacket and she didn't speak to me for a week. Six months ago she said there was a red hair near my shirt collar... and there was no sex for a month.

"That's not so bad"...said the friend.

Oh yeah, said Morris, Yesterday she beat me over the head with a pan, screaming and claiming because she found no hairs in six months... that I am now going out with bald women!
************************************
That's the jokes for today.
Have a GOOD one!
Chuck ........ and the Computer

 

C. S. ROLLASON WHOLESALERS

Like to make money from your kitchen table?
Check out our helpful sites below.... we also supply
help for established home operated businesses...

http://www.homebucks.com
http://www.future-world.com/10246.htm

The Best-Kept Secrets Revealed!
http://hop.clickbank.net/hop.cgi?crollason/aboutcom

Need Labels??? Check out my label site at:
http://chuck.clickprint.com

95 %, The highest Network Payout in the history of MLM. $95 out of $100!
$50.00 fast start bonus on every sale you make, including the first one!
Check: it out at:
http://www.goupp.com/power95/ch795

"How To Create Automatic Money Machines On The Internet" - Full 7 Letter Series - Free!
Visit Our Site To Sign Up Now:

http://www.thewarriorgroup.com/cgi-bin/a.pl?warriors&4053

Check out my Daily Journal (here’s what I’m doing.)
http://www.homebucks.com/chucks/daily.html