REMINDERS:

Thanksgiving Day - Thu, Nov 24 - 13 days
**********************

JOKES:
.......
One guy goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, my wife recently has lost her voice. What should I do to help her get it back?" The doctor replies, "Try coming home at 3 in the morning!"
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Hospitals now even have outpatient surgery.
You come in and have your surgery and go home the same day. They're finding out you get cured faster when you don't have to eat hospital food.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
They call it a family tree because, if you look hard enough, you'll always find some sap in it.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Take time to be friendly -- It is the road to happiness. Take time to dream -- It is hitching your wagon to a star. Take time to love and to be loved -- It is the privilege of the gods. Take time to look around -- It is too short a day to be selfish. Take time to laugh -- It is the music of the soul. (Old English Saying)
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Because we had forgotten the dates for a number of our friends' and relatives' birthdays and anniversaries, I decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates highlighted on screen when the machine was turned on. I went to a number of computer stores to find a software program that would do the job but had no luck at the first few. I finally found one where the clerk seemed experienced. "Can you recommend something that will remind me of birthdays and anniversaries?" I asked. "Have you tried a wife?" he replied.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
At long last the good-humored boss was compelled to call Fisk into his office. "It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor."

"You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking it, do you?"
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Every night when I go to bed, I kiss my wife good-night and my covers good-bye!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
THOUGHTS ABOUT CATS

Behind every cat that crosses the street, there is a dog saying, "Go ahead, you can make it."

In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.

Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit.

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.

The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat. (Hmmmm)

"We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it...and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove- lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore."
~Mark Twain:
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
"If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue." (Sears, Roebuck, and Co. Consumer's Guide, 1897)
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
WORDS for YOUR WEEK: "Art produces ugly things which frequently become beautiful with time. Fashion, on the other hand, produces beautiful things which always become ugly with time." ~Jean Cocteau
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
My husband does absolutely nothing around the house, I searched all over him for a cord. I figured, maybe you have to plug him in.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
He was bent over his book intently, pencil clutched tightly in his hand. "Ah," he sighed, his eyes misting as he recalled the past. "I remember the good old days. Kindergarten was such fun," my grandson announced as he continued working on his first grade homework.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
I was standing to the side while recruits were picking up their gear. I noticed one fellow looking in dismay at the boots he had been issued. He approached our tall, imposing sergeant major and stammered, "S-sir, they issued m-me with two left boots."

"Well, son," he replied, "shaking his head, that's obviously how they saw you."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
It was a warm, sunny day and my three-year-old daughter stood looking out the window. Outside, our dog was lying in the shadow of some brush looking at people passing by, breathing hard, his tongue lolling out of his mouth." Daddy," Dolores asked, "why does Max laugh at everybody all the time?"
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
In our trust company's head office, an assistant vice president had just been promoted to vice president. When we jokingly asked what perks came with his new position, he told us he hadn't got a bigger office or pay raise, just a bigger title. The next day, though, he found his office looking very different: His seven-foot- high fig tree was missing, and in its place was a three-inch sapling. His staff had given him a "bigger office" to go with his promotion.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
GROANERS

Aspirin goes a long way back. I read in the Bible the other day that Moses took two tablets.

I bought a book about centipedes. It was mostly footnotes.

Did I tell you about the Hollywood chicken? It crossed the road to see Gregory Peck.

Then there was the seamstress who lost her cat.
She let it out.

Is a sleeping bag a nap sack?

If you cross a chicken with a cow will you get roost beef?

Finally, there was the clumsy bee who came down with a cold. As determined as ever, however, the bee gathered its pollen, only to drop it time and time again, so it had to visit quite a few flowers before it was able to hold on to the pollen. Sadly, though, it spread its illness to every single flower.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
There are two things which will always be very difficult for a democratic nation: to start a war, and to end it.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Trick or Treating by Your Sign (Did you follow your sign? LOL)

Aries pushes the others aside to get to the door first.

Taurus will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates.

Gemini goes around the neighborhood once, changes costumes and goes around again.

Cancer stays at home and gives candy to the other trick-or- treaters.

Leo plans their costume for months, then won't go out because someone else had the same idea.

Virgo wears a neatly-pressed suit and tells everyone they're a bookkeeper.

Libra is still standing in front of the closet trying to decide on a costume.

Scorpio isn't in it for the candy.

Sagittarius will manage to wander to the next town.

Capricorn makes a list of all the houses that give good candy and the optimal route to take.

Aquarius builds their costume out of spare flashlights and spends all night tinkering when it shorts.

Pisces skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the Moon.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
REJECTED CRAYON COLOR NAMES

Clumsy Black And Blue I Just Got My Blood Drawn Gray Saw Grandpa's Ghost Wet Spot Yellow Three Months In Back Of Fridge Fuzzy White Red Shirt In The White Laundry Pink Hurricane Blew Furball Beige Stayed On The Beach Too Long Red Oil Spill Black Boy Am I Embarrassed Is My Face Red?

Two Month Old Pumpkin Old Hippy Hair Gray Frostbite Black Something The Dog Ate Brown Don't It Make Your Brown Eyes Blue
~M. Raymond & Readers
*************************************
That's the jokes for today and for this week.
Have a GREAT weekend and I hope, in your case, a long one!!!
Chuck ....... and the Computer
 

C. S. ROLLASON WHOLESALERS

Like to make money from your kitchen table?
Check out our helpful sites below.... we also supply
help for established home operated businesses...

http://www.homebucks.com
http://www.future-world.com/10246.htm

The Best-Kept Secrets Revealed!
http://hop.clickbank.net/hop.cgi?crollason/aboutcom

Need Labels??? Check out my label site at:
http://chuck.clickprint.com

95 %, The highest Network Payout in the history of MLM. $95 out of $100!
$50.00 fast start bonus on every sale you make, including the first one!
Check: it out at:
http://www.goupp.com/power95/ch795

"How To Create Automatic Money Machines On The Internet" - Full 7 Letter Series - Free!
Visit Our Site To Sign Up Now:

http://www.thewarriorgroup.com/cgi-bin/a.pl?warriors&4053

Check out my Daily Journal (here’s what I’m doing.)
http://www.homebucks.com/chucks/daily.html